Sunday, August 25, 2013

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013)


Fantastically disgusting! Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters is a fun, gross, action-packed, ride. You won't find much substance but I doubt anyone would approach it expecting any.

I hate to keep doggin on Jeremy Renner but he's not a good actor. He's bland in almost every role he's been in and this movie is no exception. Further, he looks far too old to be Gretel's brother.

The one thing this movie lacks is humor. There's a lot of room for humor in Renner's role which is why his character is even more disappointing. I would've loved to see a comedic action star like Jensen Ackles, Ryan Reynolds or even Justin Timberlake for goodness sake!

Famke Janssen as the main dark witch is the best evil villainess that you absolutely love to hate. She's far better in this movie than the X-Men series.

The special effects are pretty crazy and overall has a Van Helsing feel. It's worth a rental and worth watching the sequel if there is one (hopefully with Hansel recast).

On a scale of 1-10 Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters is 7.5


Saturday, August 24, 2013

The Bourne Legacy (2012)


The Bourne Legacy is a movie you really REALLY want to like, unfortunately Jeremy Renner fizzles relative to Matt Damon. Granted, the Bourne character is an awful large role to follow but Renner's Aaron Cross is like a beautiful vision with absolutely zero flavor.

The movie is weak, like a contractually required sequel. With that being said, the story is still entertaining.

Spoiler:
The best part of the movie is the fact that Cross is naturally dumb and without his "smart" pills, he will theoretically be too stupid to get out of the trouble he's in. The unfortunate part of it all is that if you blink, you will miss that explanation. Renner mumbles his way through that ever important piece and even if you don't leave the room, you may miss it.

Had this been a stand alone film you might not be so disappointed, but knowing it's part of the Bourne franchise, you expect a lot more that it delivers. You're better off re-watching one of the other real Bourne movies. Although you may want to watch it for Edward Norton; his best performance in years.

On a scale of 1-10, The Bourne Legacy is 5.5

Performance distinction for Edward Norton as Col. Eric Byer: underrated.


The Walking Dead: Season 2 (2011-2012)


The pace of season 2 is just as slow as the first. There's still the same amount of talking and extended scenery shots. There are scenes three minutes long of zombies walking...just walking.

Just as in season 1, there are many times when you wonder "Why don't they do this?" or "Why aren't they doing that?" and "Why the damn hell did they not have multiple rendezvous points?" They all have miraculously good aim for average citizens and yet for every other instance they are stupendously ill prepared. And why oh why haven't they learned to watch their children?!?!?

All the women still look to the men to make the decisions. The one semi-strong female character, Andrea, develops into a more independent person as the season progresses but not only did she get there almost directly because of the men but is rescued by men...again. This show must be written by a group of lackluster men who seek a vicarious release of control that they are otherwise lacking in real life; because this type of groveling toward them is so outrageously fiction. It's like the show was based on a comic book series aimed at adolescent young boys. Oh wait.

There's an incredible amount of religious references and symbology throughout both seasons. The Walking Dead is not a simple gory and grotesque zombie show. It surprisingly has a lot of room for philosophical reflection.  It's full of avenues for analyses for the not so brain dead folk.

The group's chemistry is growing and the characters stick to you like gorilla glue. Just when you think there's any resemblance of stability, there's the finale. The Walking Dead does an irritatingly good job at keeping your curiosity hooked. Maybe it's the adolescent young boy within me, because I can't help but want to watch season 3. SIGH.

Note:
-There was a disconnect between episode 9 and 10. I literally had to check back to make sure I didn't skip an episode.

On a scale of 1-10, The Walking Dead: Season 2 is 7.5

Thursday, August 22, 2013

The Walking Dead: Season 1 (2010)


I've heard so many references to this show that I finally decided to take the plunge. The Walking Dead is obviously about zombies. Much of the show moves as slow as a typical zombie. The pilot episode's first 25 minutes is a lesson in patience. That being said, the characters create instant attachment; paradoxically, they are also incredibly unremarkable. Their humanism really shines through the entire time. I suppose that's the point.

There's much more relationship drama than you expect and it's also not as scary as you would think a zombie show would be. Although, I did watch all of season 1 in one sitting and had zombie dreams that night! There are definitely gory parts to it. The reason season 1 can be watched in one day is because there are only 6 episodes. I will confess that I fast forwarded past the very slow and long scenery shots. The substance of the entire season is, generously, half it's length in time. There's a lot of talking...and talking...and talking. As much as I appreciate character development, the droning on and on about feelings is excessive.

The lead character, Rick Grimes played by Andrew Lincoln, is very likable and fits well into his definition.

If there's a blaring omission, it's strong female characters. The Walking Dead feels like a throw back to the 50s and 60s. All the leaders are men, all the problem solvers are men, all the women are the ones who need saving, or need to be calmed down. It's all quite typical. The first strong female character doesn't get mentioned until the finale and unfortunately is only available via video of her dying brain. Where's Marg Helgenberger or Jada Pinkett when you need them?!

The Walking Dead feels like Lost meets Mad Men meets zombies...Lost: Mad Zombies (I've never seen Mad Men, I'm just referencing the era).

On a seemingly positive note, the desire to watch the next season is uncomfortably present.

On a scale of 1-10, The Walking Dead: Season 1 is 7.0




Thursday, August 1, 2013

G.I. Joe: Retaliation (2013)


A perfectly simple and entertaining action movie. A great excuse to show off some really good fight scenes with very likable characters. Don't expect much of a story. If you're looking for drama, look elsewhere. Most of the drama happens in a split second. A few of the story lines happen so quickly, it's like watching the trailer. It's an hour and fifty minutes long but it flies!

The directing is superb! There's enough action to mesmerize you but not enough to make your eyes go buggy like a Michael Bay movie. The action is clear and you never feel like you've missed anything.

Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is charming and lovely as always. He demands chemistry which is probably why Channing Tatum is surprisingly decent. Bruce Willis is meh. All the other characters are played by lesser known actors and they do a pretty good job. The one nerve being pinched in the casting is Lady Jaye, played by Adrianne Palicki. She is a good actress but doesn't seem to fill the Lady Jaye role properly. Physically she's not muscular enough. She's painfully thin which is most obvious in the Angelina Jolie-esque scene with the red dress. She embodies a Victoria's Secret model more than the rugged, raspy voiced, Lady Jaye. I suppose if you've never heard of G.I. Joe before this movie (shame on you) then that won't bother you as much.

Spoiler:
Jonathan Pryce as the President and Zartan/the President is crazy. As the real President, his acting seems to suck just a bit, but as Zartan pretending to be the President, his acting is markedly better. There's such a clear distinction between the two, you're convinced it's two different actors.

The dynamic between Jinx, Storm Shadow, and Snake Eyes is so entertaining, I would watch a movie just about those three!

G.I. Joe: Retaliation is great entertainment. It's fun, fast, and just plain kick ass!

On a scale of 1-10, G.I. Joe: Retaliation is 8.0
                             With distinction: underrated

Scene Spotlight: #1 Mountain fight scene. #2 Motorcyle breaking.


http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1583421/?ref_=rvi_tt

The Intouchables (2011)


The Intouchables is a wonderfully endearing, calm, heartwarming, and funny movie! Against the wishes of all of his friends and family, an affluent quadriplegic hires an ex-con from the projects as his aide.

The stereotypes and racial messages are hokey and a bit crude but overall this soft drama is packed with enough humor to tone down the harsh simplicity of it's framework.

Francois Cluzet as Philippe is elegant. His pain, tears, and happiness transmit so easily. There is not a single moment of disconnect (except when you're wondering if he's related to Dustin Hoffman somehow...haha). The chemistry he has with Driss, played by Omar Sy, is quickly established and flows smoothly. Driss has a very loud personality and teeters on obnoxious but reigns it in just enough not to be.

The Intouchables is a French movie with English subtitles. There are a couple of French references that may not be understood immediately but the context fills you in quickly.

On a scale of 1-10, The Intouchables: 8.5
                              with distinction: underrated

Performance distinction for Francois Cluzet: underrated.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1675434/?ref_=sr_1